Stupid Christian Guys.

By now, most of you who have read this blog might know that i was an absolute terror of a boyfriend to my - now - wife Analee. My bad theology and even worse understanding of my own heart kept me and Lee running in painful circles much of our dating relationship. It's a sign and a wonder that she ever married me. However, it turns out that by keeping a tight dialogue with God and my own heart throughout our messy process, I came out of it with a few lessons learned - as most would in such dramatic cases.

After recent chats with some of my wife's single friends about attempted romance, it shocked me to realize that i wasn't the only young and stupid christian guy in the world. So...I've decided to start a dialogue around the bad ideas, theology, and choices that make many christian guys stupid.

It will lovingly be called: "Stupid Christian Guys." All thoughts, experiences, and inputs are warmly welcomed.

Women Are Rarely Wrong.

There's not too many things in the existence of a man that are always true. With seasons, weather patterns change. As culture transitions, facets of our parents wisdom fall irrelevant. Even some religious expressions that meant so much to one yesterday often find no connection to his soul today. However, any man willing to brave marriage is guaranteed to find one thing that is always true. Often to his dismay, sooner or later a married man learns that wives are rarely wrong.

Don't ask me to explain it. I've spent the last nine months trying to disprove it. And to no avail. No matter the circumstance, when it comes to my feeling or reasoning vs. her feeling or reasoning, I've seldom prevailed.

I could have sworn that the men who had gone before me preaching the same lesson obviously did not have the same DNA I did. Yes, the average "dude" is prone to make rash, and therefore wrong, conclusions in marriage; Bound to be consistently proven wrong by his wife's more sensitive, and therefore wise, approach towards life. But thats simply because the average "dude" hasn't put his time in like i had. I spent time prior to marriage learning how to feel, giving ear to intuition, and to making good decisions. And yet, the day i put this ring on my finger, none of my self-proclaimed wisdom on life seemed to matter. Because no matter the predicament, my wife somehow is almost always right.

Judging from the level of disappointment i feel about the issue, I think somewhere deep in my subconscious I couldn't wait to be "that husband." You know the one. The man that somehow always knows best. The one that, no matter the situation, deserves the ear of the family due to his flawless record of always seeing the big picture and making the very best choice of action. The husband who's wife is constantly inquiring of his wisdom, not just because he's the man, but because she's in desperate need of his perspective just to live another day. Welcome to an egotistical man's fairy tale. Now let me introduce you to that same man's reality.

My wife and I spent this last New Years holiday in New York City. During our first day of strolling the streets with aspirations of great shopping exploits, my wife came down with a cough. The next day it turned into cold like symptoms. No need to worry. Turns out, she married just the right man. I happen to know everything there is to know about cold like symptoms. My wife, in a woman's typical dramatic fashion, begins to question if she's come down with bronchitis. Her seeming attempt for my sympathy was humorous. I practically came out of my mothers womb with bronchitis, which obviously made me an instant expert on the condition. I chuckled, dismissed her claim, bought her some cough medicine, and tried to pull her back out on the streets. After a few days of her suffering through our vacation, I hesitantly booked an appointment with our local doctor. It was at that appointment that my wife's small cold was diagnosed as level 3 bronchitis.

This was one of many similar occurences packed into our brief 9 months of marriage. One to add to my resumé which toted a similar misdiagnosis of dry socket; and the classic case of me sitting my wife down during our dating relationship and telling her: "we will never be married." Needless to say, I'm not a doctor, nor a man who has himself entirely figured out.

And speaking of not having things figure out, it seems the only thing to rival my general intuition in it's error over the last 9 months has been my paradigm of marital leadership. I'm a southern boy. In typical southern culture of honor, wives submit to the "leadership" of their husbands. In many cases, this ends in a sort of male domination of the household. The man makes all decisions, and all decisions made are right.

I could count on half of one hand how many times my friends fathers had admitted they were wrong. Mostly because when they had, it seemed to chip away at their authority as the family leader; As if their lack of error and omnipotence was what qualified them to lead.

But, if there's one thing i've learned quickly (well, relative to MY typical time table), its that leadership is actually not about an absence of error. Leading my wife is not about always knowing the very best direction to take. It's actually more about the posture i take in the midst of decisions.

A good wife may submit to her husbands conviction, even when she may not agree (and then usually just pray hard to compensate for his stupidity). But it takes a good leader to give just as much validity and weight to what his wife feels as he gives to what he thinks in any given situation. A man may be justified in having the final say in a marital decision, but that doesn't equate to him having the ONLY say. And the longer I'm married, the more i realize  that it definitely doesn't mean the husband always has the BEST say.

Men: Let's spare ourselves and our marriages a few years of bad choices, apologies, and humiliation. Let's do ourselves a favor and learn to listen to what our wives feel. And learn that it - more often than not - is actually our number one asset and a gift to us in our leadership.

4 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN MOVING OR BUYING A HOUSE.

1. Build a trustworthy team.
Around the time Lee and I began house hunting, the Housing Tax Credit's life span was counting down it's days. We didn't love the idea of rat racing into a bad deal for an extra 8K in our pockets, so we took our time building a trustworthy team. I have a brief past in real estate, yet an even more brief memory when it comes to the important details. We were prime candidates to be taken advantage of. Luckily, the story ends well. We took the time to work with the right people, and still was eligible for the 8K.
 With an old friend and great agent, Luke Krehbiel as our guide, we found just the home we wanted in just the price range we wanted it. The process of securing that home took us through some hoops, including an auction at the courthouse steps. However, Luke saw it out until the end. After a bit of hunting for a loan officer, we decided to work with Brendan Donelson for two important reasons. One: We trusted him due to a efficient history of working with a family member...and... Two: His "get-it-done" personality put us at ease. Jay Alexander, not to be mistaken with my favorite restaurant, and his efficient - yet not long winded - explanations proved to be just the title lawyer for us. With a good team, stress is low and savings are high.

2. Meet the Neighbors before buying. 
No one was kind enough to inform us of this before buying. Luckily, we hit jackpot. Our neighbors, the Ingrams, are an amazing young family who drink fantastic wine, are always wanting to connect, and happen to have 4 four wheelers and a hummer sitting in the backyard- to which the invitation to use is open to us!
Depending on real estate and land, some may not have to worry about the neighbors. We, however, can almost pass a cup of coffee from our bathroom window in to the Ingram's kitchen (and, the toilet is not the most ideal place to have a convo while sipping coffee). All that to say, bad neighbors - especially when close - can make or break a living situation. Ringing a doorbell and shaking a hand before signing the dotted line could potentially save you a few grand in building a 12 ft privacy fence and some energy in sneaking to your car every time you leave the house.

3. Don't go to the paint store on an empty stomach.
There's 24 quarts of sample paint and a spotted wall in every room of my house that scream "Take your time with paint color." You just signed the next few decades of your life away to a bank for this block of cement and wood. The least you can do is not rush the process and dress it with colors you love.
I obviously didn't learn this one the easy way. The partnership between a anal sense of what i like, no vision for an end product, and a slight color blindness (so my wife claims) didn't help me a bit. Case in point: After the exterior walls (without the trim) were painted, I felt sick to my stomach all day, called my wife a dozen times to reason with her, and at one point even concluded it would be easier to just sell the house and move back to Cali than to re-paint. And all because i didn't have the imagination to see it finished. Within 24 hrs, the trim was done, the front door was painted red, and I wouldn't have chosen any color differently. My wife won't let me live that tantrum down, as she probably shouldn't.

4. Protect your marriage. 
The top three stressful events in marriage: Births, Deaths, and Moving Houses. Everyday that you come home to a obviously unfinished house, you seem to slip farther into the stress of pending projects, decorating...etc. And it's this kind of stress that has a way of manipulating itself into your first priority. Time with my wife quickly found itself in second or third place. The stress didn't hit us until we were fully moved in. But when it hit, it pancaked us. Needless to say, we had the most colorful marriage counseling (which we committed to consistently do together for life) session to date.
Build a wall around your marriage that your house can't penetrate and suddenly your wife becomes your biggest inspiration and most effective teammate in making the new house feel like home. 

WHEN PURCHASED:

2 MONTHS IN...

Our 3 Favorite Things to Do in Nashville.

Lee and I can't go a few days without bragging to friends about how we get to live in one of the best cities on earth. You just don't meet too many people living in Nashville, TN that don't want to live in Nashville, TN. It's a city with the good dynamics of southern culture, pioneering ways of creativity, and people who give a damn. 
With no shortage of great people to connect with and epic things to do, here are three of Lee and I's fav's:

 

1. Breakfast in the city. 

There's just nothing quite like rolling out of bed with you wife, not bothering to change out of your PJ's, jumping into your car and having atleast 5 strong options of breakfast joints to choose from. Here's a good list:

Pancake Pantry: One of the Better Pancake Experiences in Life. www.thepancakepantry.com
Pfunky Griddle: An old home transformed into an organic bfast paradise. www.thepfunkygriddle.com
Meridee's Bakery: The only thing better than the combination of it's historic atmosphere and food is it's location. www.merridees.com
Loveless Cafe: An old classic motel now calls itself home to the best writers nights and southern breaky in town. www.lovelesscafe.com
9Fruits Smoothies: Don't let it's suburban cool springs location fool you. These all natural smoothies are the best in town. www.ninefruits.com


2. Nashville Writers Nights.

These "ain't" no random people with guitars reminding you of your high-school talent show type nights here. Home to the best songwriter's in the world, Nashville writer's night's rival the talent of any tour playing in the arena down the street. Here's a few good ones:

The Bluebird Cafe: Open Mic's sang into by the city's best a few times a week. www.bluebirdcafe.com
Cafe Coco: A younger crowd and a Portland feel. www.cafecoco.com
12th and Porter: A club and a lounge with multiple open mics a month. www.12thandporterlive.com


3. Wander Historic Downtown Franklin.
15 miles south of Metro, we share our little quaint town with the likes of Tim McGraw, Hayley Williams, Nicole Kidman, Dennis Gowder...etc...and it doesn't take long for a visitor to know why. This beautiful little historic town lights up at night with sounds of hometown musicians playing on the corner, smells of local restaurants cooking homegrown food, and the hundreds who come to walk the streets just to take it all in. We live a block from the square and whether night or day, we love to wander around the 3 block stretch of eats, coffee shops, and boutiques.

For more and updated information join "365 Things to Do in Nashville, TN" on Facebook.

The Love of Our Lives.

World: Meet Franklin.
Franklin: Meet all of our friends.

At 8 Weeks Old, we never thought a little ball of fur could capture our hearts so significantly.

Lee on drugs.

Lee got her wisdom teeth out yesterday. As if the procedure wasnt bad enough, her pain meds made her throw up [11x] her pills and food, which in turn, made her pass out [she's hypoglycemic] and left her hungry and in consistent pain. Tragic day. The good news is that we troubleshot her meds, and got her high, sleepy and dazed.

[Does this pic not make you want to hold her for the rest of your life?!]

MEN LOVE DOORS. [reflections on mr. fix-it.] -TY.

There are times throughout life together that my wife will give me windows into her soul. Moments, often marked by unique vulnerability, where she opens her thought life to me or attempts to verbalize how she feels about a given thing. And though the idea of vulnerability is what i've always claimed to want inside of marriage, I somehow manage to blow every opportunity she gives me to glance through a window…not to mention, i typically leave her frustrated and intensely apprehensive to give me another view anytime soon. Im just now finally starting to chew on why i'm so good at breaking windows and cutting my wife.

Women love windows. Men love doors. Women are just fine with being heard and feel most loved when simply validated for what they say or how they feel. They are quite content with you listening though a window from outside their house with no tangible access. It's there that you cant disrupt their process of feeling and are forced to simply affirm and validate.

Men love doors, because men love fixing. They love to get all up in your house, tell you why you shouldn't feel the way you do, advise you on how you should feel, and see little to no use for grace or sensitivity to "help" you though your "problem." And don't be fooled, b/c thats exactly how we interpret windows…nothing less than a problem needing to be solved. But no worries…you ladies are in luck, b/c it just so happens that we as men always have the right solution.

Now, if you would just make your window a door, we could stop shattering glass and cutting you to bits. Right?

Unfortunately, my wife doesn't always see things my way, and values her windows very much. So, I'm leaving the boys behind and going where only married men dare to tread. I'm slowly, but surely, learning to love standing outside and listening through my wife's windows…knowing, and honestly hoping, that one of these days, she may just open a door and invite me in. Hell, she might even ask me for a solution to one of her many "emotional process'".

An Un-neutered Promise. -TY.

Laying in bed wide awake at 2am, i stumbled across Lee and I's vows. I know in a majority of our society today a wedding vow has been neutered to simply be just another part of a wedding ceremony, and if it's lucky, is framed and put on the wall of the house that's later fought over in divorce court. And though I'm well aware that Lee and I have only begun to navigate the deep and long-term challenges of becoming one, I love looking into my wife's history and seeing a strong value for commitment and a lifestyle of fighting for what she believes in.

All that to say, before i met my wife, a promise was simply another thing to stay far away from for me. Now I lay in bed at 2am reading our promise over and over. With every new time i read it, I feel my intention to open myself stabilize and my desire for a greater capacity to love increase bit by bit.

Thought you might enjoy reading...

"Understanding that loving you is a choice, I am making that choice today. And whether it be easy or hard, I will make that choice tomorrow and every other day for the rest of our lives.
I promise to keep myself open to you and to Holy Spirit...To keep my walls down, my heart vulnerable, to do my best in communicating what’s happening on the inside of me.

As our journey called “life together” begins today, I will forever be by your side. I will choose to always lean into Divine grace, so that my thoughts will be considerate of how you feel, and that my heart be bent on you becoming the best version of yourself.

With this ring, I announce that you are the only one I want to give my heart to and that I want to spend the rest of my life choosing to love you."

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM TY+LEE!

"3 THINGS NEVER SAY TO A WOMAN." especially when that woman is or could be your wife. -TY.

In our first Christmas season together, I found myself often lost in the thought of “how the hell did I get Analee?” Beyond her being substantially more good looking, intelligent, and magical than I am, I’ve gotten centimeters away from blowing my chances with her all together-more than a few times. In celebration of both, her grace for my complete failure as a boyfriend, as well as, her spending this Christmas-and every other Christmas on earth- with me…I thought I might share my “epic fails” with the world. Take it from me all you men out there. Though it worked out for me in the end, the following is not a guide to success with women.

1. “We are not God’s best for each other.” A month into our dating relationship, I had a major epiphany. It was a treacherously wrong epiphany and one built on treacherously wrong theology…but an epiphany none-the-less. Our first month of dating was a hard one. Friends not supporting us, individual confusion, and plenty of miscommunication were among few of the usual suspects. In all my wisdom, I one day concluded that if God really wanted us together, it just wouldn’t be this challenging. In turn, these brilliant words exited my mouth and still plague our married life a year and a half later. All that to say, I don’t recommend making life-altering conclusions quickly, nor do I encourage having bad theology.

2. “If only you could just see it my way...” The better part about the first year of marriage is that my wife and I are both in love with the same person. The best part is that person is me (thanks Gary for the enlightenment). The unfortunate part is that, though this may be true, it’s not extremely productive in the business of loving my wife and creating a quality life together. The truth is that “if she could just see it my way,” things would be considerably easier, but would likely take us swiftly away from a healthy existence. Here’s the first thing to learn as husband, boyfriend, and man: Shut up and listen. We NEED the thoughts, opinions, perspectives of our significant others. The way they feel, think, and see is a magnet to our compass that will more often than not point us north.

3. “We will NEVER be married.” Again, the wisdom, foresight, prophetic ability, and infinite understanding of Tyler Ward on display. Though Analee was typically the one to see things in black and white, I gave it a go on this day. It didn’t suit me well. On the verge of asking a woman-who I was not 110% sure of marriage with-to move across the country with me, my fear of commitment adopted this thought, gave it at least a few minutes of reasoning, and proclaimed it boldly. I spent the next month and a half on my bedroom floor plagued by the misery of missing her, then drove 2000 miles in 24 hours, and pleaded with her to give me a chance to take the foot out of my mouth. She did. But…I wouldn’t recommend the process. Make it easier on her and yourself...Even if you have a disposition to dramatic declarations like me, resist them.

Merry Christmas. Hope it’s full of gut-hurting laughs, genuine love, and moments with the divine.

"Marriage Counseling from a One Month Veteran." -TY.

Its been 39 days since I repeated those vows, and though I may not be a veteran on this journey called "marriage," here's a few thoughts. They derive from both my substantial failures as a husband thus far, as well as, what i consider to be a few success' the wife and i have navigated. All of which, is heavily subject to change, especially in light of my recent and earth shattering discovery that i "dont know everything," which was so kindly stated by my wife.

1. Hooked on Phonics works for marriage. This has been one of the more refreshing dynamics of our first month together. When I'm home, my wife and I lay in bed after our favorite TV show or dinner with friends and read a chapter of our current relational help book. I feel like what this says to my wife is that i care about the progression, maturity and general health of our relationship, and i want to learn how to better love and interact with you. No matter how insensitive, misunderstanding or hardheaded i may have seemed in that argument earlier today, she is reassured every night that i am still in this and bent on learning with them. In the midst of my poor husband skills, I've seen my wife significantly recover excitement about marriage after reading together. Its a great tool to stay growing in your love, and just as importantly, to keep your hearts connected in the process. Books i would highly recommend: "Boundaries." -Townsend and Cloud. "Sheet Music." -Leman. "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus." -Gray.

2.Emotionally Connected and Holy Spirit Filled Sex Life. As newlyweds, we obviously don't have a frequency problem in the department. What i have quickly discovered though, is that sex is just as much a tool for emotional health in marriage as it is a pleasureful gift to satisfy. Not letting sex simply become an act of physical satisfaction (which takes quite a fight at times) has changed things dramatically in our day to day lives. I have watched my wife's walls crumble and her insecurity run quickly away as we partake. What i feel like this communicates to my wife is this: my concern for our heart connection and her emotional needs over my physical ones and that she is more than a sexual partner, but a intricately designed woman that i am committed to loving. "Sheet Music" is a great read on the issue. Also, try inviting Holy Spirit into the bedroom. I dare you. I think what you'll find is a God who loves knitting hearts together.

3. Learn a New Language. I think im finally starting to understand how you may be sure that you're made for your significant other. Only if his/her love language is the hardest language of love for you to speak. I'm convinced this is God's seemingly cruel but actually grace gift that keeps us growing in our capacity to love. Here's my dilemma: A)My wife gets high on words. B)I find words to be cheap and insignificant. C)Thus, my internal love might as well not exist, b/c without using words, my wife would never know it, and much more so, feel loved. Here's my point: I've had to learn to sacrifice whats natural to me-using touch and time to translate my love-and fight to communicate how i feel and what i think about my wife. I cant say i'm a legend at the fight, but when i do, i find a wife confident, loved, and secure in our life together. Great read on the issue: "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus."

Here's your chance: Counsel us. Whats something you've seen or learned about marriage that you would recommend?

Enough Said.

Home is Where Your Story Begins. -TY.

She may have grown up and lived in big cities her whole life...but Franklin, Tennessee is about to convince someone she's been missing out on the glory of small town life. Ms. 5th gear may just have to learn to downshift...

WE'RE MARRIED!

Photography by Carah Ellis and www.brandonchesbro.com

For more pictures, go to www.facebook.com/analeeward or www.facebook.com/tylerwardis

WE'RE ENGAGED!

Design by www.Dustinbocks.com



All photography (minus motorcycle shot) by www.brandonchesbro.com

"LOVE ALWAYS WINS." reflections on our dating relationship. -LEE.

My heart was awakened to the idea of love one year ago. I knew I was ready. I knew something major was in my midst. My world changed when the man of my dreams moved from Nashville to Los Angeles and started coming to church. No joke- he was everything I wanted in a man. The conversation that I had with God when I was twelve, described Tyler Ward word for word, verbatim. We had several leadership meetings a week for church, but he never talked to me. We didn’t even become real friends for a few months. Clearly, he was not interested. I kept details of my secret crush to myself. So, I just said, “Thank you God for at least giving me hope that men like him really do exist.” He was my picture of hope that God knew the desires of my heart. And that was enough for me.

That only lasted a little while, before he finally came after me. We then spent the next 9 months doing life together. We came up against the desire of our hearts versus the logic in our (mostly his )head(s), learning how to communicate, and discovering love together. I instantly loved him and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man. Things were going great and we were going to re-locate to Nashville in June.

On April 18th Tyler freaked out and broke up with me. It should have been the worst day of my life, but it wasn’t. [Insert hallelujah here.] For months I had that day circled in my calendar as a day of “Breakthrough.” Surely, I heard the Lord incorrectly, and He was saying there was a “Break-up” in my near future. However, I somehow had overwhelming peace. That didn’t mean I didn’t try to stop Tyler. Oh yes, I told him that breaking up was a ridiculous idea, he needed counseling, and that I know he stinkin loves me! I just didn’t believe him at all whatsoever. But, Tyler was very confident that he knew what he was doing and that this was best. He said we would “never” be together or ever get married.

I clearly lost that fight. I told him I still loved him, and knew I couldn’t change his mind. I had to really let go. And after our break-up talk God told me that on this day He was bringing “breakthrough” in a way I didn’t understand but to trust Him. So, within less than a week I had quit both my jobs, sold all my belongings, and moved forward with the Lord. Moving forward with Him meant to Franklin, Tennessee. My move to Tyler’s hometown was out of complete obedience, as I thought it was the worst idea ever. “Thanks a lot God. I’m sure I will get healed up and over him there!” All I knew was that I was moving to Nashville to become a wedding planner.

I quickly fell in love with this place! I made new friends; found a church family, moved into a cottage right in downtown Franklin. I was excited about life and feeling good. I was all over the place and one night ended up going to a prayer meeting where this woman gave me a word about my destiny being in this city…I was obedient in my move here, and that God has caused a separation, but this was a season of second time around chances. I didn’t tell many, put just put that word in my back pocket. Somewhere deep down, I had hoped it was about Tyler.

I had another month before Tyler was thinking about moving back. Then one day the text came: “I’ll be back in town by tomorrow.” I freaked out and had no time to mentally prepare his arrival. We didn’t talk. I had no idea how he felt. I still loved him, but had let it go [mostly]- thinking it would never happen. And to make matter worse, I was tormented all that week by dreams of Tyler professing his love to me and proposing. I begged God to take him out of my heart, if I wasn’t going to marry him. He didn’t. Tyler still remained in my heart. I couldn’t fake how I felt, that’s why I was afraid to see him. Love was still very much alive in me.

That wild man drove 2000 miles straight in 24hours!!! [It should take at least 30hours] He showed up at my house and we spent 7 hours talking about everything over the last year, every fear, every concern, everything. All of our walls were down and were so completely vulnerable. I was overwhelmed and it was obvious, love was still there… But, this time it felt completely brand new.

Of course my heart was racing and I didn’t sleep at all that night. Everything was just unreal. The next day he came almost as soon as he woke up and we spent at least 5 hours walking, talking around downtown Franklin. It was “us” again. But a better “us.” Or maybe the “us” we hoped we could be. I had never felt so close to his spirit and then he stared me in the eyes, and told me he loved me. Those three little words hit me like a Mack truck. We held each other and wept. I was the first, the last, and the only woman he has ever said “I love you” too. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He had never been more sure of anything in his life. I took the biggest sigh of my life as I realized in this magical moment, I had found my home- in Tyler Jonathan Ward’s arms.

A few days later he picked me up on a beautiful Harley and drove me out to Bell Buckle Tennessee to the RC Cola and Moon Pie Festival. After our dessert and the crowning of the Moon Pie king and queen we got back on the bike. He then took me out to his mentor’s prayer deck through the woods, over looking a river and waiting for us there were our little place settings and wine glasses. We had some wine and some prayer, and then he took out a love letter. One of two he wanted to read me. I sat there with tears streaming down my face as he told me all the things that he loves about me. I was so moved by what he was saying and thought, “oh my gosh he’s about to propose!” But after he finishes, he asks if I was ready to go. “Wasn’t there a part two I asked?”

He then drove me out to the Natchez Trace Bridge and parked right in the middle and read me love letter number two which was all about the things he loved about “us.” Of course I cried, again. I felt so loved! But it didn’t happen yet and we got back on the bike. I sobbed against his back the whole time till our final destination of downtown Franklin’s square. We made a full circle around the square before stopping at a bench. He sat me down, and said there is a part three.

He took out the 3rd and final love letter, with only two bullet points: (something like) 1) I love you and want to spend the rest of my life loving you. 2) How would you feel about marrying me? He then got down on his knee and proposed and I yelled “Hell yes!” It was the most surreal moment of my life. So surreal, that I didn’t notice Brandon Chesbro taking picture paparazzi style behind a building. He captured the moment. People drove by yelling, “She said yes!” and congratulating us. Ty and I had plans to meet his parents for dinner and he said we better hurry. He mentioned that there was a bible study happening at their house, but that we could sneak in the back and carpool with his parents.

As we pull into the driveway- there were at least million cars! “Bible study my toosh!” Ty just looked at me a big grin. We walked into the basement with 60 of our friends at our surprise engagement party. It was unbelievable! We even had an engagement cake! I was so overwhelmed, in the best possible way.

So there it is. Its official- Tyler Ward is going to be my husband! C-R-A-Z-Y! When I was young I had always asked God to write me an incredible love story. All I can say is that he is so faithful and knows the desires of our hearts. He loves orchestrating marriage, speaking to his kids, and showing us what an extravagant Papa He is. I don’t care what anybody says- LOVE ALWAYS WINS!

PS- God is such a comedian. “Move to Nashville to be a wedding planner.”…. I had absolutely no idea that I’d be planning my own!

For more visit www.tyleesaysido.com
Photography by brandonchesbro.com

"LOVE IS A CHOICE." reflections on our dating relationship. -TY.

In my move to LA, i found myself utterly intimidated and untrusting of anyone who could potentially have or hurt my heart. In a season when I was determined to not let anyone too close and in danger of shutting my heart down, who else would walk in my life than a five ft nothing ball of energy that pulled on every ounce of my attraction and intrigue?

She didnt notice me for months. That was fine with me. I was safe, uncommitted to anything, and therefore, happy. That is until... she noticed me, which opened a door and demanded i confront my hidden and buried agenda to pursue her. Our journey over the next 9 months was romantic, explorative, and conflicted at times. All of which confronted every bit of my fear, insecurity, and lovelessness, but never quite defeated my "box."

I found myself locked inside my fear, with no other option than to break things off with Analee. She moved to Nashville as I spent a month trying to reason my way out of what my heart felt.

It wasnt until after 5 weeks of running circles in my small world, whose walls were created by bad philosophy and relational immaturity, Holy Spirit whispered one small statement that "ruined" everything. "Love is a choice." In that moment, all my fear, and the logic i had in place to protect my fear, seemed to mean nothing. You mean love wasnt magic dust or a feeling that came and never left, or even my perception of compatability between two people ?? I bought a flight back to LA the next day. Jumped in my car and drove 2000 miles in 24 hrs to Nashville, where i spent the next few days apologizing, explaining my confusion, and praying for Analee's heart back.

A week later I tried to put a ring on her finger. Fortunately for me, she said yes and i get to embark on a journey of love with the most epic little swedipino ever.

Take a glance at Analee's side of the story, as well as, the rest of our wedding website @ www.tyleesaysido.com

Photography by brandonchesbro.com